[Continued from "You Call That Advice? (Part 5)."]

John was nice enough to provide me with a link to his blog, which has various pieces that espouse his philosophy that married women are starving their husbands of sex by fucking them once a week or less, and that men should be better in bed so that their wives want to fuck them more often.  He claims he can teach men how to be better lovers … in just 800 words.  Here are some tidbits:

Kiss and stroke down her belly past her vagina and do all the way down her thighs and calves. Come back the other side all the way back to her vagina. Remember her panties are still on. Put your mouth over her vagina and blow hot breath through her panties over her clitoris. Then insert a finger inside the leg band of her panties and stroke all around without touching her pussy. It will drive her wild.

Start licking between her labia up an down. When you get to the top of her vagina , you give her clitoris a quick lick and go back to licking between her pussy lips. Then insert your tongue inside of her pussy. Stroke it in and out.

You can gentle pull back the hood of her clitoris and directly lick the clitoris directly. You can then suck the clitoris between your lips and begin to suck on it like a woman performing fellatio on a man. The clitoris will actually become hard like a male penis and achieve an erection. You can give her an orgasm by givi.ng her clitoris a blow job.

Finally there is one more thing that you can do for fantastic foreplay. After having given your honey numerous orgasms, she will be begging you to take her. You can give her a real thrill. Hook your hand in the waist band of those panties and give one hard rip and literally rip her panties off. This will simultaneously scare her and excite her. Every woman has a secret rape fantasy. She does not really want to be raped but she wants to be taken forcefully and roughly by a self confident man. The key to using this fantasy, is that you want to make sure that she is highly aroused.

He then goes into a sales pitch for his book, which does not yet exist.  Perhaps he’s having trouble finding a publisher as book publishers want to publish books by people who can write.  This guy can’t write his way out of a vagina.

Telling men, whom he characterizes as clueless about pleasing their wives, that every woman has a secret rape fantasy is downright dangerous.  Also, many women would be pretty pissed off if their panties were getting torn up all the time.  But the image of men with pursed lips trying to suck on clits like tiny little cocks is hilarious.

I posted a comment to his post with a link to the Wikipedia page on “vulva” and said it would serve the readers better if he used proper names for anatomy if he wants to actually teach them accurately.  While I didn’t tell him this, considering the likelihood that he knows anything about San Francisco geography, saying the clitoris is at the top of the vagina is like saying the Golden Gate Bridge is inside the Broadway Tunnel.  (Trust me, that’s funny.)  I may have been snarky.  I was probably snarky.  I had been dealing with the idiot all day and continued to be astounded at his stupidity. He did not post my comment but did email this to me:

I know the clinical terms for female anatomy.  I went to nursing school and took anatomy and physiology.

I was speaking to a predominantly male audience and chose to use the slang terms to make the article more readable.  I am trying to reach men and convince them not to be so self centered in bed.

You are vehement that women are comfortable with casual sex with no strings attached.  I have never met such a woman.  Ultimately she quickly becomes frustrated.  It is part of the unisex movement foisted upon us by the feminists. Women try and take on male characteristics.  Are there exceptions to this rule, I am willing to admit there might be, but the vast majority of women are not happy with this level of sexuality.  I try to speak to the majority rather than worrying about the exceptions.

You are frankly the first woman who has taken offense at my suggesting holding out for a committed relationship before engaging in sex.

Best wishes

This John guy is funny and doesn’t even know it.  He has never met a woman who is comfortable with casual sex because in his world a woman’s sexuality is a means to an end, getting a commitment and fidelity out of a man.  I’m sure he’s met many women who are comfortable with casual sex, but his attitude and judgment prevent them from coming out of the slut closet to him.  And to say that a woman who is comfortable with casual sex is taking on “male” characteristics is Victorian-era bullshit that hurts both men and women.  Men want sex all the time and women need to be in a relationship to have satisfying sex; anything other than that messes with his very antiquated ideas of sex, gender, and sexuality.  And if I’m the first woman to take offense to “holding out” it’s only because I have the time to bother to tell him that sex can be just sex.

[To be continued.  Just one more.]

I swear.  True story.