[Continued from "Correctional Officer, Part 6."]

Once it was clear the Ex and I were breaking up, he told me that he had cheated on me.  I didn’t care.  I cheated on him more times than he knew.  More times than he now knows.  Telling him would have only served to hurt him.  I think the reason he told me he cheated was to try to hurt me.  But he didn’t get it.  He didn’t get me.  I didn’t care that he fucked someone else, and I didn’t think he should have cared that I fucked someone else.  I asked for details because I thought it was more interesting than anything.

Interesting because I never suspected he cheated on me.  When he told me when and how of his cheating, it made sense.  He had gone on a mountain bike ride with a group he found on Craig’s List or some such thing.  I encouraged him to use the mountain bike that pretty much just took up space in our apartment.  He was gone the whole day.  I went out with some friends that night.  He was supposed meet up with us but I couldn’t reach him.  I figured he was somewhere in the mountains where cell reception was spotty.  He eventually came home very late.

He told me that after the bike ride the group smoked some seriously strong hash.  So strong that he didn’t feel like he could drive.  He opted to sleep off the high in the car.

At the time the Ex and I had sex usually at least once a week.  It had been longer than that when I requested a romp.  He declined.  I asked what was wrong that he didn’t want to have sex and he told me that he was no longer attracted to me because I had gained weight.  I cried, and went for a walk.

Fast forward to August 2007 when he told me the truth.  The truth was that he fucked one of the other mountain bikers and the condom broke.  He freaked out about the condom breaking and went to get STI tests.  When he was awaiting the test results he didn’t want to have sex with me just in case he had contracted something.  Sure, that was nice of him.  However, his method of avoiding sex with me was downright mean.

Even after we were friends and I explained to him why it was so mean to say that to me, he didn’t get it.  He will probably go to his grave thinking the ends – avoiding the possibility of exposing me to an STI – justified the means – telling me he found me unattractive.  He will go to his grave wrong.

He was also wrong to call Correctional Officer’s wife.  Apparently, along with going through my email, the Ex also went through my cell phone bill and called any number he didn’t recognize.  He figured out that one of the numbers belonged to CO.  The Ex claimed he wanted to talk to CO, probably in some sort of macho posturing, “Stay away from my woman” bullshit, but a woman answered the phone.

The Ex later claimed that he felt it was his responsibility to tell her that her husband had fucked me so she could get tested.  My ex-husband was unusually paranoid about STIs.  In an illogical and stupid way.  Because if I was clean and only fucking him, and he was clean, then how could I have given anything to a guy who, until he fucked me, was monogamous with his wife, who was supposedly only fucking him?  So it was the Ex’s fault that I was called a fucking whore by the wife of the guy  with whom I’d had one awkward go.

I was angry at the Ex for making that call, because it was unnecessary and only served to fuck up yet another relationship.  This is another thing about which the Ex and I will never agree.  He thought I was overly concerned for CO and his marriage.  Truth be told, I had no clue what was going on with CO’s marriage because after the one call where he hung up I thought it best to cut off contact.  I was concerned about my friend, CO, not the guy I fucked, CO.

However, I had no one to talk to about any of the shit that was going on in my life.  Because I was so fucking horrible as to fuck someone not my husband, all – yes, ALL – of our supposedly mutual friends cut me off.  The Ex was supposedly some sort of saint – unless you were married to him.  The one friend who would be on my side I wasn’t allowed to talk to for fear of fucking up his marriage along with my own.

The Ex was so dumb as to tell me he hoped me and CO would be happy together.  Really?  He thought I’d move to that shit town where CO lived and he and I would live happily ever after with his kid?  The Ex clearly didn’t know me at all.  I don’t have to be in love to fuck.  I don’t even have to like the person.  But the Ex thought I wanted to break up for a relationship with CO.  What an idiot.

I did see Correctional Officer again ….

[To be continued, obviously.]

I swear.  True story.