Even though it’s not very late, I’m quite tired. Pot does that to you.

Maurie broke up with Beth. His excuse was that he needs time to think about stuff or something like that. She still loves him of course but right now she is very angry, which she has every right to be.

Henry finally did call but had to go ’cause Tom (I think that’s his name – one of the ones who was here last night.) wantedhim to take him to get drugs. He said he would call in about an hour but that was at least three hours ago. Maybe they had to go downtown to get the stuff and got shot or something. What am I gonna do if anything’s happened to him? I, of course, wouldn’t be invited to the anything ’cause I’m not a friend of the family’s. Well, nothing has happened to him, ’cause nothing has hap – oops I was about to repeat myself. What’s with my writing, huh? I keep fucking up too. Beth is asleep even though she promised that she would stay awake.

I think I should buy a pipe ’cause smoking out of an aluminum can is ridiculous.

I wish Henry would come over alone and Beth would fall asleep and “he would be so happy . . . he’d kiss me.” That’s the ending to any Henry scenario. There are also Henryisms. I think about that guy more than is healthy for the average human adult. It would be a big step if Henry actually spent the night – well into our relationship, of course. Every time I hear a car,I get a tight feeling in my stomach and wait for the knock on the door. It’s quite scary. But the knock never comes so I can just relax. When I least expect it, that’s when something will happen. Like last night. He’s so cute. He apologized for having so many people with him and surprising me. I said it was no big deal but I now realize what I should have said. That I wanted it to be just him. I’ll have to say that the next time we talk, if I remember. I would much rather it be his guitar, him, and me. He plays quite nicely. It makes me feel neat inside. Then he would be so happy that I like his playing that he’d kiss me. I shouldn’t be so shy. Am I making it obvious that I like him? Is that bad? I really think he must like me too, or at least want to have sex with me from the way he talks. What if he just uses me and dumps me? What if he’s a real jerk and that’s what he meant by being a lot worse thanwhat he looks like. That jerk putting on that sweet face just to lure innocent young girls into his grasp to destroy them. He would rather go deaf than have his genitals numbed. And he’s even a musician. He must like sex a lot. Good, that’s the way I like them, primed and ready.

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