I have now met four guys in person from OkCupid.

At my advanced age and due to my significant experience I’ve come to the conclusion that it is definitely true that I know within about 30 seconds whether I’ll fuck a guy.  Sometimes it’s even less.

The first guy I met through OkCupid was nice enough to drive up from San Jose to meet.  I made it clear that I couldn’t host.  We met in front of a bar of my choosing.  He was tall and looked like he could be thin under the sloppy clothes.  And behind the beard he looked cute.

We went inside where we had a few drinks and talked.  I really like that feeling of being “on” and getting the distinct impression that I’m charming the guy.  I think that was the case with that guy.

We made our way to my building where I showed him my stairwell.  A stairwell in which I’ve fucked a couple of other guys.  I don’t know if the knowledge of the other guys scared him, or just being in what was to him a random stairwell, but his cock did not get hard.  I tried.  I sucked on that thing.

We went in my apartment where the Ex was watching television.  The three of us hung out for a bit.  Then the guy left, and we’ve had one text exchange since saying we need to fuck.

The next guy I met in a bar of his choosing in my neighborhood.  He bought me one drink.  I talked.  He was cute in a completely different way from the first guy.  Though I talked he didn’t seem to have much to say to me.  Uh, ok.  I excused myself to use the restroom; he excused himself from the bar.250px-Baboon_buttocks

On my walk home I texted him that our meeting was a fucking disaster.  He agreed.  He said I didn’t seem too into it.  I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to show my interest; I think he wanted me to present in the animal sense of the word, like a dog or a baboon.

The same night I met the Ex and another friend at another bar and vowed never to meet a guy again at Elbow Room, where I had had another disastrous meeting in the past.  I had a few drinks with the Ex and our friend, the whole time continuing to text the guy from earlier in the evening.

Our texts began to negotiate what we wanted.  I said I didn’t need a conversationalist, but at least a conversation.  But I was also horny.  Finally we negotiated that he would pick me up in his car where I’d play with my pussy, we’d go back to his place, we’d not kiss, he’d fuck my ass, and then he’d pay for my cab home.

Which is exactly what happened.  It was dirty and hot.  He mistreated me in a way I really seem to like.  No, I wouldn’t want that all the time, but yes, I like a guy to disregard my feelings every once in a while.  He talked at me, not to me.  He told me what to do.  He said he didn’t care if I came, which, at the time made my pussy wet.  Not that he knew, since he had nothing to do with my pussy.

After he fucked my ass, which must’ve really gotten him going because it didn’t take him long to come at all, he said I did a good job, which gave me a little thrill, the pleasing him.  Yes, I do need to be treated like shit sometimes.  Yes, I want him to fuck my ass again.  No, I do not have any interest in “getting to know” him.

The third guy I met at a bar.  He was there when I arrived.  He had a beer.  I sat down.  We chatted.  He was cute enough, if a little boring.  I excused myself to go to the bathroom.  I returned.  He never offered me a drink.  I took a cue from the prior guy (the ass fucker) and took my leave.  I should not have to ask for a drink, dammit.  I never even bothered to text or email that guy.

The fourth guy I met in a bar.  He was cute.  He offered me a drink.  We had what I thought was a decent conversation.  I had to go to an engagement, the nature of which I explained to him.  We parted amicably.  He said he would “definitely” be in contact but I’m honestly not all that sure.

I just want people to be honest with me, and I’ll do the same.

I’ve been mid-fuck with guys who say they want to fuck again but then never contacted me.  It would have been so much better if they just fucked me and didn’t talk about “the future.”

I’m hoping for more OkCupid luck; I’m meeting six new OkCupid people in the next four days.

I swear.  True story.

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