10:38 A.M.

Last night was the show at the Coconut Teazer.  We (Karen, Laura, and I) got there really early but Henry was outside so I didn’t see him until just before they went on.  I use people I’m with as a crutch.  If I was alone, I would’ve had to go look for him.  Oh well.  The band playing when we got there, Wax, was pretty good.  The next band, Glue, was rotten and the lead singer was a transvestite fag from hell.  Ethyl Meatplow sounded a lot like Nitzer Ebb and the lead singer chick was pretty cute.  There was a hot girl in the bathroom when Karen and I went.  I was later to find out that she’s a friend of Killer’s.  She had a cute face, cool hair, and a hot little bod.  then for the Duchess, I went and stood up front so I could see better while Laura and Karen stayed where we were back a little further.  So through the whole set I stayed up and watched Henry’s cute little face and agile little hands.  The dancer chick with the gross body was by Henry and kept getting real close and rubbing up against him.  She had a cute little, well, not little but smallish and poufy, butt and alright legs – no cellulite that I could see – but a yucky waist and belly – all chubby and not well-defined.  So afterwords I went to where we were sitting but they weren’t there.  I finally found them and they told me they had left.  I was shocked and then Laura looked at me with a sneer and said , “You don’t like them, do you?”  What the fuck?  Yes, I do like them.  Yes, I do like the songs and music and the scene and the people, what the fuck is it to her?  She said she’d go see Ghost Story ’cause I’ve told her that they’re a lot different.  I want friends who’ll go places with me.  I want someone who’ll shock and surprise me and I don’t think it’s just me and Beth and Laura are fine.  All those people who go to their shows can’t be wrong along with me, can they?  So now I have to find a ride to Friday’s show.  Oh, but Nicole said she’d go to that with me then spend the night and then go to her party Saturday night.  Cool, but I work Saturday 12:30 – 5:30 and she probably has to go to set up for the soriee.  then I have to work at Nautilus Sunday morning.  I’m going to try to try to get out of that one by getting someone to work for me – I just have to remember and I have to call Nicole.  August 11 food:

  • 2 bagels
  • yogurt-covered pretzels
  • 2 nectarines
  • lowfat milk shake-type thing
  • chocolate and coffee candies
  • wine cooler
  • sex on the beach

At least I got some fruit in there.  K.C. wants me to come into work today but I have stuff to do here and it’s my only whole day ff in a long time.  Of course, I have Wednesday off but not the whole day ’cause of Nautilus.  Laundry, called the L.A. Times, post office.  Why can’t I have more money?  I have to get a fogger.

8:44 p.m.

Henry says he’s gonna get one of the roadies to pull me up on stage, take my clothes off and make me lay down with my legs spread during whatever the song is that goes, “open up your big, fat pussy …”.  He wouldn’t.  But He said just because I said he wouldn’t, he’s going to.  I would have to be so fucking drunk even though I know I could dance and play up there pretty well.  But he said Barb would put the strap-on between my legs.  I don’t know where that’s been but then I do too.  The thought of being forced up there and my clothes forcibly taken off in front of an audience gets me off.  All those people hot for me and the way I can move my body and to know that Henry’s watching and getting off really gets me going.  I would be performing for him so that later he woldn’t be able to stop himself form fucking me – if I wanted to or not.

I have more sexual thoughts about Henry even though Sean has proven to be the more sexual of the two.  But something about the pursuit.  And watching Henry makes me hot – the way he’s so smooth and cool about everything so that when he does do or (especially) say something sexual it’s such a change that it must just be for me.

10:44 P.M.

They always start the same.  You just walk in, don’t bother knocking.  And see me lying on my stomach on the bed.  It’s hot and I can’t sleep but before I get a chance to even say anything, you have roughly pulled my panties off.  Then you run your hands up my inner thighs and spread my legs wide.  You rub my buttocks and finally your fingers find that wet hole that is filled with the product of my excitement.  Then your hard cock is rubbing between my ass cheeks while you whisper in my ear what a whore I am for leaving the door unlocked.  You pull away to grab my hips and prop me on my knees, keeping them far apart.  And you fill me.  I can feel nothing but your hot, hard dick deep inside me as you’re thrusting again and again.  Your right hand is making laps around my clit and your whole hand is wet form me.  Then I’m coming and I can feel my whole body once again.  The sweat on my face, the hot moisture on my thighs and buttocks and you .  It comes out hot.  I can feel it heat my insides up even more.  You pull out and leave – I’ve never seen your face.

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