2:06AM

Well, this thing with Laura and Steve – I don’t know he doesn’t talk very much ’cause he’s so damn shy he’s very cute and sweet though Laura kept talking to Henry she said it was because (she also stared at him) he looked so much like Eric one of her first boyfriends.  She better not.  He better not.  Oh shit now I’m nervous.  Oh shit.  What if he likes her?  Oh, but he can’t can he?  He likes me.  Oh now I’m going to cry.  Laura left very abruptly – she said it was because the conversation wasn’t going very well and she say Steve give Henry a look like, “Oh got I don’t want to be here.”  So she left – didn’t even have me walk out to make sure she got in her car alright.  Then Henry left right away – too depressing.  But then he called me when he got home – he likes me and he more officially asked me out for the 20th to see Duchess de Sade.  Not I’m shitting about what I should wear.  He always looks like he got dressed to come over here – how sweet.  I don’t want to look like I get too dressed up but I’ve been looking like a scum.  But today I wasn’t wearing black and/or white – I have/had navy blue on.  Showed him my photo album but wouldn’t let him see pictures of Erica – I’m not quite sure why.  Just not yet.  Maybe when and if we ever have sex.  Way after – maybe never.  Not never to the sex part never to the Erica part.  She’s out of my life – her choice, not mine – I don’t know where she’s at she knows where I am.

3:54 PM

I called up Laura to tell her I think I’m losing interest in Henry.  I think I’ll just turn him over to her.  No, I’m too selfish.  Actually, I’m just bored and I don’t like moving this slowly.  Should I just jump him?  And his friend Steve is so cute – how Henry looked to me at first.  Now Henry’s lost a lot of his innocence in my eyes at least.  Maybe I’m fickle and he thought I would be so he was testing me.  As soon as I see him again maybe.  I saw the cutest girl – poo – just tried to call Rachel – she was/is at work at Pistol Pete’s Pizza.  How cute.  Anyway, I saw a really cute girl when I was walking home from the bus stop.  She was probably a junior high student.  What do I have for the young ones?  Well, the ones who at least look young.  Now it’s time for me to look for others.  I like the excitement of wondering if a girl would like girls.  Humm.  I need to shave.  I need to get another job.  I miss the curves of a female body.  Well, maybe I’m just horny.  And Laura said she and Henry connected because both of their mothers have blue Ford Tauruses.  But Henry’s mom’s is a year newer and has a much better stereo.  I don’t think Henry’s family has been hurting for money.  It was so cute how little Steve was nervous.  Oh, what is it about the baby faces?  I want to call Steve with the pretense of asking about Laura and then slyly moving in so he won’t even know it.

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