[Continued from "You Call That Advice? (Part 3)."]

From: John
To: S M <[email protected]>
Sent: Sun, April 4, 2010 2:58:56 PM
Subject: Re: Really?

Hey Suzanne:

I find it amusing that you take the tack that since Carrie Prejean is not living a perfect Christian life, that she has no right to an opinion and she is therefore fair game for vicious attacks.  It sounds like you are being supportive of Perez Hilton’s highly sexist and misogynistic attack.  But since he is one of the girls apparently it is okay with you.  I would hope that this not the case.

As to underage girls claiming to be much older.  I have known of dozens of such instances a couple in my own family.  One young man was going to be tried for statutory rape becuase he believed the girl.  Fortunately the defense lawyer brought up her faceook page claiming that she was 19 rather than the 13 she actually was.  I used to work in the pro life movement and there were a lot of girls who deliberately got pregnant.

You seemed to take the tack that girls are completely innocent and guys are the evil ones.

As to promiscuous sex and sex without a relationship, my advice more closely follows mainstream clinicians advice than does yours, so I am not going to change my views on this.  Our advice is just that, people can accept it or reject it.  You are free to disagree with my advice online and people can decide what if any advice that they want to take.

I refuse to give advice contrary to my my moral compass and values. Whenever my advice could be considered inflammatory, I with hold that advice as you have seen with the same sex marriage problems.  I give the best advice that I know how and you are certainly entitled to your opinion and differ with me.  If we all gave the same advice then he would not need multiple advice givers on the site.  I would always give advice not to have an abortion and I am quite sure that would cause you to become livid with my advice.  But I won’t vary from that either.  We will have to agree to disagree.  But please feel free to challenge me, because the Bible says that like iron sharpens iron so a brother can do also, in your case a sister.

Best Wishes
John

_______________

From: S M <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Really?
To: John
Date: Sunday, April 4, 2010, 10:37 PM

John,

You are once again reading into my words things that are simply not there.  I did not say that Ms. Prejean or anyone else is not entitled to her opinion.  I did say that the basis for her opinion, the teachings of the Bible, is a flawed foundation, and that if she’s going to claim to be a Christian with “higher” moral values than non-Christians, then she should walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

If you notice, I did not address Perez Hilton and his treatment of Ms. Prejean AT ALL.  Are you reading what I’m writing, or just reading into what I’m writing?  I’m not sure how not writing anything about Perez Hilton can be interpreted as support of his behavior.

Of course there are SOME underage girls who claim to be the age of majority.  And of course there are some girls/women who deliberately get pregnant when a pregnancy is ill-advised.  However, anecdotal evidence is just that, anecdotal.  Because something has happened before does not mean it will happen again, and it certainly does not mean it will happen every time.

Again, you are making assumptions about my opinions based on something that I’ve simply not written.  I NEVER said girls are innocent and guys are evil.  I don’t characterize people – male or female – as evil, ever.  Everyone has the capacity for good and bad, and everything in between.  Men and women, boys and girls, can be victims as well as victimizers.

Enjoying sex for the sake of enjoying sex does not imply promiscuity, and promiscuity is not necessarily a “bad” thing.  Sexually active people should be aware of the risks and benefits of their behavior and act accordingly, with respect for themselves and others.  I understand that your own opinions are based on your beliefs that sexuality unless within the confines of a committed heterosexual relationship is wrong, and I’m certainly not trying to change your mind, but you should understand that yours isn’t the only way to think/live.

Of course I did not suggest you give advice contrary to your opinion.  What I suggested is that you not jump to conclusions about infidelity, etc., based on the little information given in the questions.  Just because someone has a job at a gym and is simultaneously acting like an ass to his girlfriend does not mean he is enjoying the attention of multiple other ladies.  And enjoying attention from people not one’s mate does not make a person “bad.”

I’m not even going to touch that you would “always” advise against abortion.  The world is not quite so black and white.

Sincerely,

Suzanne White Montiel

_______________
Hey Suzanne:

In case you missed it, I was doing clairificatioin.  I said that it sounded like you were taking a position, not that you were taking that position. I was reacting to your feelings and responding with my interpretation of what it sounded like you were inferring.

As a man, I will always respond differently than you will.  I recognize patterns.  The young lady stated that her boyfriend had been previously loving and attentive.  Now that he had a job at the gym he was ignoring her and treating her badly.  He is in a postion to be hit on by a lot of women and that was my assesment for why he was being crappy to his girlfriend when he had previously been loving and attentive.  That is my call and I stand by it.

We don’t have the option of getting in depth intake, we have the limited one sided description of the person’s opinion of the facts.  We are asked to give our advice based upon that and I do.  People are free to accept it or reject it as they choose.  It is free advice on a free site.

Are there exceptions to the rule, of course there are.  I am speaking to the majority out there.  The majority of people do better having sex in a committed relationship.

As to Carrie Prejean not living the walk, we are all hypocrites and we are all sinners according to the bible.  We are all at various stages of spiritual maturity.  Just because she is not a perfect christian should not open her up for the vicious attacks.  You came across as she got what she had coming because she did not meet up with your standards of spiritual maturity and therefore she had no business answering as she did.  Perez Hilton deliberately asked the question so that he could ellicit the answer that he wanted so that he could launch his hate speech attack.  I am frankly mortified at your take on that issue.  No one, especially a young woman should have been slandered in the way that he did.  As I said, she answered in the same way that Obama would but I don’t see you attacking him, but maybe it is because he is politiclaly correct.

Best wishes
John

[To be continued.  The guy's a fucking idiot.]

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