And then Laura called.  She said that when we finally do have sex – I’ll still wonder all the time if he likes me and then I’ll always want him over and I’ll always be whining to her and Beth.  But I was just thinking that he’s the type who wouldn’t have sex until there was some sort of relationship intrinsic there.  He is one of the first guys I’ve met who doesn’t think with his dick.  But here I am thinking with my ovaries.  But it’s only natural – I’m a young spry female – I have needs and its been a long time but I can go for at least as long as Laura has – four months but I don’t want to have to go that long.  He’s so fucking cute.  I mean shit – I’m always looking at him and he knows that.  Does he look at me?  I don’t see how he could – I’m always looking at him and when I’m not we’re not in the same room – I look hat him a lot – I have his face imprinted.  As a whole though – I probably couldn’t describe individual features – but maybe I could .  His mouth is so cute – a little pucker like a bow – I’m not sure if it has a cupid’s bow or not – full with a center division so they’re kind of symmetrical.  Oh, the thinks I could do to those lips.  Mother was supposed to bring my vacuum by but apparently she’s slacking.  Maybe this whole thing will be good for me – for relating to males not just sexually.  I don’t know what time to leave.  But at least I got as far as knowing if he talks and hangs around me then he likes to do that much.  I don’t know, this might actually be cool.  I just don’t understand how he can be so damned patient.  Some would consider that an attribute.  Who knows.  Are all boys this confusing?  Probably.  But it’s nice – the fast whirlwind things can get out of hand.  [Has he ever done anything on a whim?  Something rash?]  Slow and steady makes the race.  I feel kind of rotten ’cause I would be alright with the situation – of not being boyfriend/girlfriend – if I knew there’d be sex.  But then maybe not ’cause I would feel used and cheap and convenient.  He’s just a nice guy.  Damn – all the more reason to like him.  Gosh.  Well, maybe about fifteen years down the we’ll be together and call ourselves a couple.  Actually, I like not getting what I want.

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