The new roommate is so so much better than the last ones.

He’s pleasant to be around.  He doesn’t spread crumbs all over the couch.  He doesn’t watch stupid, stupid television.  He doesn’t go to bed before 10pm.  He doesn’t come home from work in a shitty mood asking where the fuck his things are.  He seems to genuinely enjoy conversing with me.  He appreciates my cooking.  He knows how to cook.  He can be quiet.  He’s downright pleasant in the mornings.  He uses a normal amount of household paper products.  He doesn’t seem to be passive-aggressive.  He seems to be an adult.

He’s not my ex-husband.  He’s not my ex-husband’s insane pregnant girlfriend.

He does, however, make me very tired because he gives me really nice big orgasms.  This is hardly a complaint.

I swear.  True story.