I’m a single woman in my mid-30s with a cool loft condo in the Mission. It is a loft so you wouldn’t have much privacy and you’d have to put up with my bad habit of occasionally coming home drunk and horny.

Actually, I’m horny quite often.  This has resulted in fucking a chick on my kitchen floor, something that most people not only wouldn’t mind but wish they could watch.  I masturbate a lot, too, as one of the things I do is test sex toys.  But I can certainly control myself.  For instance I don’t hump the couch when watching tv.

The tv is 42″ with high definition.  The couch is quite comfortable despite its modern profile.  The place is completely furnished.

I have a dog, Isis, a very sweet doberman.  I also have a cat, Joaquin, a dainty little boy with a loud voice.  Both of the animals are very good, even if their hair doesn’t stay where it should.  I love both of my animals very much and take very good care of them, so you would only have to put up with them around, not care for them in any way.

I will “care” for you, as I am an excellent cook who likes to make elaborate dishes.  I can accommodate your culinary needs, including vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free.  Most things I cook are local, seasonal, and organic.  I’m also pretty good at doing laundry, the facilities for which are in the apartment.  This is not to say you should lack skills to take care of yourself, only that I am happy to cook, do laundry, and even do dishes.

You should be able to clean up after yourself and do things like take out the trash or other cleaning when you see that it needs to be done.  You should know the difference between recyclables, compost, and trash.  You should not be the type who wastes water, electricity, paper, or food.  Cutting your nails should be something you do in private.

I will not tolerate most “reality” television shows to be viewed when I’m home.  They make me angry.  You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.  Which, really, I’m not most of the time.  I get angry when people are inconsiderate shitheads.  I’ll admit to being kind of cranky in the mornings too.  That is because I’m a night person – I could stay up pretty late most nights given the opportunity.

The place is in a good location close to public transportation.  There’s a parking space (for an additional charge) if you need it.  There is also plenty of space in the garage for storing a bicycle.

There’s also a private outdoor patio with a nice grill that’s easy to fire up should the need for cooking food in that way arise.  I, too, am pretty good at grilling.  The building has roof access with a great view of San Francisco.

I drink so if you’re a recovering alcoholic you probably wouldn’t be too comfortable around me.  You would have to smoke outside.  I don’t allow hard drugs in my place.  I’m a great entertainer, but don’t have a lot of parties, just small get-togethers.  If I like you I’d probably like your friends, to whom I’d happily extend my hospitality.

I spend most of my time at home in front of my computer.  Yes, I am boring, but I’m also quiet (most of the time).  When home I usually have on my headphones, as I listen to a lot of podcasts.  When I have my headphones on that usually means I’ve no interest in talking to you, or anyone else.  Don’t take it personally.

When I do feel like talking it’s usually about sex.  I can be loud and obnoxious.  Some people find me charming.

I swear.  True story.

  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •