9:21 am

Whelp, Juree’s out of the ‘ol picture.  She moved to Sacramento.  Boy, am I depressed.  Erica gave me the dog chain so I guess we’re official now.  But could it be just because Juree’s not around?  If it is, oh well.  I think Juree fucked up quite a few people.  Both Erica and Amy are heart-broken.  I probably would have been sad too, had we been on amiable terms when she left.  Oh well.  Erica told me last night that she wants to have sex with Amy and she would if Amy wanted to with her.  Well, maybe to her the chain of relationship and commitment doesn’t mean much but to me it means a lot.  So I thought of a little deal this morning in the tub.  Each one of them has to come to me separately and tell me.  Then I will give Erica back the chain and nothing will any longer mean anything between us.  If she wants to risk love for sex (like she did with Juree) then that’s up to her.  I just want her to know beforehand the consequences of her action.  And she best not thik that I won’t find out ’cause I will.  “I have ways of making you talk.”  (I have no idea what that’s from.)  I have intuition.

School scandal–Nicole Howard (the one who said she’d be able to tell if someone was raised by a gay person) and Beth Gerkin (the one who looks more like a boy than Shannon) having a sexual love affair.  Wouldn’t that be the best?  And people would believe it too ’cause they’re both jockey and don’t wear much make-up.  The true sign of a lesbian–no make-up.  Ha!  I wear tons.  And so did Lizzy.  Oh well, too funny.  Anyway, I think that would be the greatest fun. I’ve been thinking about it and it is possible.  Maybe Nicole is such a gay basher because she doesn’t want to let on that she is.  Oh well.  Of course, I’m a Mormon basher but that’s not because I don’t want to let on that I’m a Mormon.

I’m extremely bored.  I’m supposed to go over to Shannon’s to spend the night but I don’t know if I am because Erica had to ask Shannon who had to ask her mother who who knows about.  So I have a change of clothes and all that just in case.  I want my mother to send me the pictures from when I was down there so I can see Erica as a macho slut.  I’ll have to write to her soon then, that’s what hat means.  I sure do smell good today.  A combo of goat milk soap and Fahrenheit and unscented deodorant (which does smell, despite what they say).  Boy, I must be fuckin’ bored.

I know my lines as much as I care to know and I’ll do just fine on the final.  My batteries are dead but oh well.  All my afternoon classes are going to change.  Econ. to Gov’t, math anal to American Studies, and drama to French I T/A.  Boy, is my life tough.  Dad’s pressuring me to tell him what I want to do after high school.  I was trying to get out of the house and move as soon as possible to LA.  But it would be more intelligent for me to stay at home, go to jr. college, and then transfer to a college down in LA if that’s where I want to be.  God, I’m starting to sound like [Step-Mother].  I get to start my driving lessons soon.  Yea, considering I already know how to drive.  I fixed my eyebrows.  They’re almost even now but my left one arches up higher and looks better, as it always has.  “True love is beautiful.  True love, aw, everything’s cool.  True love’s workin’ out.  True love’s what it’s all about.”  “But my baby’s so vain that she’s almost a mirror.  And the sound of her name sends a permanent shiver down my spine.”

“Ooh ah ooh.  Come a little closer.”

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