3:24 pm

Erica’s at Juree’s so that means my sex life is shot to hell. I don’t want to catch anything. She says she’s not going down there because she’s tired of me but isn’t it obvious that she’s rather be with Juree ’cause I’m boring. Yes it is. Well, Amy said the other day that Erica told her she had no desire to have sex with anyone but Juree. Well, I’m so sorry I’m undesireable. Then she told me that she had said that a long time ago when she was being idealistic.  I really want to do something tonight because I don’t like sleeping alone.  If Gene’s at work then I’ll get him to call Sandy and see if she wants to do anything tonight.  She hasn’t called me and that really pisses me off because that means she doesn’t like me and I’m stuck fawning to Erica ’cause there’s no one else.  I really want beth I think she knows cause otherwise why would she tease me so much oh well what can I do it’s not like it’s some guy who I like and I just have to get my butt in gear no this is another girl who probably wouldn’t even go for the idea ’cause she has her reputation to uphold well I’m moving far away and won’t tell a soul.  I promise.  Erica always says I tried defending you blah blah blah she’s going to bad mouth me I just know it she’ll say how fat I am etc. or how gross my skin is or how ugly I am.  I asked her how she would feel if I was doing the same thing to her and she said how we’re not together so she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it but she’d feel like she wasn’t good enough.  I’ve become boring and she’ll just be all the more exciting.  I fell like getting to her 1/2 lover, Amy, and fucking her brains out ’cause she’s a hell of a better kisser anyway.  She made my mind overwhelm with her after one kiss and with Erica it was just eh.  Then when I found out she was overwhelmed with me then I got interested.  Why do I think sex is everything?  Why does erica who feels guilt about sex do it so often?

4:48 pm

I’m very cold.  I put a bra on.  I haven’t worn one in I don’t know how long.  Brent at work got fired.  I liked him, he was weird.  I should brush my teeth.  I wonder where Sam is I like getting to work on time.  Amy told me I should look to revenge and knock dorko’s ego down a few notches.