Approx. 1:15 am

Erica ~

I love you and I guess it will take some time to get over you but I can to it ’cause I’m strong.  I don’t want to let you go but you aren’t going to make any effort to keep me, you save your efforts and begging for that who is special to you.  Yes, I do believe you think you love me but have you ever wondered why it’s so easy for you to “fall in love with” someone?  I love you more than anything but you can’t return that kind of unrequitted [sic] love to me.  Maybe I’m being selfish and asking too much of you but you wouldn’t believe how much it hurts not to have someone return your love because they feel it for someone else.  I guess I’ll probably be alone for the rest of my life because I can’t let anyone in.  But I can handle it.  (I think.)  Please, tell me you still want me an love me and need me but no, you should do whatever you want.  What do you want me to do?  Because you know no matter what that is, I’ll do it.  did you care that you wouldn’t have me anymore or was the risk simply worth it?  I guess it wasn’t that difficult a decision to make.  What would’ve happened if I’d been in town?  If you’d just seen me, just made love to me, just told me you loved me?  Would things have been different?  Once again, my timing’s screwed.  The only time my timing has been good is when I caught you in a bummer and got you to come to LA.

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