I placed an ad on Craig’s List under Casual Encounters w4m:

Last Night of Freedom – w4m – 36 (mission district)

Tomorrow my ex-husband and his girlfriend are moving in. I anticipate some severe changes to my sex life, as I LOVE fucking in my own place. Come here tonight to de-christen the place. Have a big cock and be prepared to pound me hard.

I received a few responses.  This is one of them.

Him:  is this real ad? will this work?


Me:  Yes, the ad was real.  No, sending a pic of your dick will not work.

Him:  well it was just an eye catcher!! and thats a hat not a lamp shade lol

Him:  well can i see a pic? looking for a good time or a super model? i lick as good as i stick!!

Him:  whats up? you said big cock i sent it!!

Me:  Well, as last night has passed, I now have different requirements.

Him:  lol well do tell i read lot of blogs LOL

Me:  I don’t even know what you’re trying to say.

It could be that you read my blog:  http://randomrimjobs.com.

Him: well i am saying tell me of your need? may i see a pic?

Me:  I am saying you are difficult to communicate with.  There are pics of me on Random Rim Jobs, you just have to look around.

Him:  wow great pic!! you dont look the type.but i love that look .sexxy with glasses.mmm so tell me more!!

[I have no fucking clue to which photo he is referring.]

Him:  twitter? lol i dont know how to use it what a dork!! 209 -555-9214 call me i need some info!! darrell i am in concord!! can i hear your voice? now that i know you are a real person.!! love that look!!

Me:  I don’t look the slutty type?  Thanks.  I like throwing people off.

Him:  well i dont see a one as a slut.we are grown.and have needs.well can we chat on the phone? i would love to meet you ? have some fun? s.f has a million rooms at hotels if it comes to sexx

Him:  may i call you? or do you have yahoo im? lets chat!! what do you do for out of the bed fun? cause i wanna go!!

Me:  Your communication style is troublesome to me.

I am a slut, and proud of it.

Him:  well i am not sure what you wanna hear? and i like sluts they no what da do? can we chat or talk on the phone?

Him:  well i would like to chat on the phone or im? i am 44 not old but dont know what you mean? lol will you train?

Me:  I want proper capitalization, punctuation, and spelling.

Him:  lol! .How funny You are!! you have a quick wit!! sweet!!.well sweets i am a great person with tons of jokes!! real gentleman open doors.pull back chairs.walk on the out side when walking down the street..but in life i am a class a driver trucker!! i cuss a lot .hate other drivers!! not much of a type.but can read and write..not a great type.but a cool person.great and sweet guy!! love to smile love-er of life.and just thought you were some one i would like to get to know!! but if not its ok!! and for you and that sweet pic!! i used spell check cail
i am just a down to earth person,nothing more nothing less.And for you i did a spell check muah!!

Him:  any thing to say?

Him:  but in the bedroom! ill lick and suck that pussy with my and fingers,stick a dildo in that ass ass well.lick and suck that ass.make you suck my big cock with your hair in my hands!! fuck any hole yopu wanna let me!! thats about that!@!

Me:  Call me shallow, but I really can’t get past your fucked up communication style.

Him:  sorry sweets!! will never call you anything but nice things!! and i like to talk on the phone!!

Him:  And rember i said i am a trucker!! not a writer..a real person who like to use the phone to speak!!

Him:  well call me? give me your number?or call and block it?my voice is deep and very sexxy!!209-555-9214 Darrell

Sexy beast!

Sexy beast!

Him:  well can we chat on the phone> then judge me? if you still feel the same way its a done deal?

Him:  i am not sure what your looking for? to fuck and suck? or a twitter person?

[He then began following me on Twitter.]

Me:  I want to fuck and suck a person who communicates effectively.

Him:  well thats funny!! just because i dont do email well? lol i am a 15year journeyman i can build a hose from the ground up!! read blue prints like a book.now i drive big rig and have home land clearence.i can dive any thing.go any where. sorry i am not a book worm or what ever you are looking for. i am just a man,who does man stuff!!

Me:  I am not looking for a bookworm, I am looking to read an email w/o questioning what the fuck the person is trying, but failing, to say.


Him:  now can you understand that? my cock is big and my lips are soft and full!!my voice is deep and sexxy! women have told me i should do phone sex,that’s how sexxy my voice is!! here is my half naked pic.looks at them lips!!,and also two of my way hot friends..yes we do a three ways!!

Him:  well you are to snoty for me..if you did not have glasses in that pic .i would no even email you.i just have a thing for nice looking women in glasses..but your loos not mine.i am a great and swwet guy! you said your just a slut.so u r below me!! bye bye

Me:  Thank you.

Him:  thank you was the white-thing you have said!! but i blame your momma!! you seem like the kinda person that farts at the dinner tabel and wont say sorry.just ask does that smell like breakfast? pffft!!

Him:  lol i guess we are now hatefull friends!!

[Wow, I'm so sorry I've not taken this guy up on his offers.]

I swear.  True story.

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