I hope you don’t mind the email as opposed to a singular, brief, comment. After spending a lunch break reading through your blog I knew I had to pass the link on to my friend, we’ll just call her Susie for now, for some much needed insight. Susie is, for lack of a better word, awesome! She’s beautiful, in great shape, witty, charming, and intelligent; she’s also amazing in bed and perhaps one of the most sexually voracious people I’ve ever met, for the most part. I say for the most part because she has some inexplicable anxiety regarding her own sexuality, a “buyers remorse” of sex.
Susie and I met 5 years ago while I was in an open relationship with her friend, who was very openly bi-sexual, while Susie was not. From the beginning, it was pretty easy to see that Susie and I had a real sexual attraction to each other, and the more we hung out the more inevitable it was that we were going to get it on. So one night, while the three of us were out celebrating an event, after a few martinis and a bottle of wine, we decided Susie was much too drunk to drive home and since we only had one bed, that we would need to share it. Knowing that my girlfriend had always had a crush on Susie, and that the tension between the three of us that night was at a boiling point, I made the move to softly seduce Susie into her first threesome. Afterward, Susie spent an hour or so gushing over how that was the best sexual experience she had ever had, the things she wanted to try next time, and how she had never known sex could be so amazing. She stayed the night, and after she left in the morning, we didn’t hear from Susie again for a few months. She went off the radar, played phone tag, and just generally kept herself hidden. The next time we would hear from her was a booty call. She had gotten drunk to work up the courage to invite us over, while her roommates were out, and was very clear on her expectations. My girlfriend and I arrived to find Susie in an open front robe and a smile, she invited us in for drinks and was very sexually aggressive towards me, again we had an amazing night, explored some new territories, and Susie gushed over the experience. Again, for the next few months we didn’t hear from Susie.
At our next reunion, over drinks, Susie confided that each time she had really, honestly, enjoyed the experience, but would find herself feeling like a “whore” the next day and would purposely avoid us, but that she would find herself masturbating to the memory of what we had done. She also came to the realization that she was strictly dickly, well more of a pillow princess; she didn’t mind the FFM threesome as long as she was on the receiving end, and that she had no idea what to do to a vagina that wasn’t hers. My girlfriend was very understanding and, because it was obvious that Susie was in need that night, gave Susie and I her blessing to go at it with alone when we wanted to, provided that she could at least watch that night. For the next couple of years Susie and I would get together on occasion, usually after she had found some liquid courage, and she’d have me help her explore the things that were in her imagination, and often afterwords we would talk, and she let on that while she still loved the things we did together, she continued to suffer from feeling like a “whore” and that there was something wrong with her. I consider myself sexually enlightened, and I don’t pay credence to the stereotype of a woman being less of a person for having the same, or more, sexual desires a man has; I tried to enforce that idea with her, that her sexuality and her appetite were not an abnormality, and that she should feel an empowerment from them or at the very least allow herself to enjoy herself. Though she and I are, well we consider ourselves, strictly friends, and she has had a handful of relationships, we continue to get together, often. She feels comfortable enough to text me her fantasies, or to invite to drinks with the understanding that I am going to put out, and on more than one occasion to help her with a MMF threesome. She still continues to have that nagging sexual self esteem issue, and for all that she wants, she doubts herself after every encounter.
Then, yesterday, I sent her your link, and told her to read through the whole thing, and it was like someone had finally turned on the light for her finally. After only reading the first few entries, she began texting me with comments on similarities that she could see and drawing parallels in your experiences. We went for drinks last night and we discussed your posts, and she said it made her realize that (maybe) there is nothing wrong with her and that she felt that your writing on your experiences weren’t trashy or sleazy in any way and that it made her feel more at ease with her lust and not so alone. All I could do was smile, it was everything I’d hoped she’d come to realize on her own. This morning, I can see her 3 cubes over, she’s smiling, contently.
In a single day your blog has done what I’ve spent 5 years trying to do, empower one woman who desperately needed to find peace with that part of who she is.
Best Regards,
Twitter: @vaginacology
