Christmastime 2007.  In quick progression I’d lost my husband, friend, and job – to adultery, drug overdose, and client bankruptcy, respectively.  On the plus side, I wasn’t forced to go to the lame employer-sponsored holiday parties for either my husband or myself.

I had plenty of time to go to friends’ holiday parties.  The few friends I had left.  The Ex got all of our supposedly mutual friends when we broke up because he was victimized by my wanton ways.  I still find it interesting that they didn’t consider that he mistreated me for years based on all the times I called them crying because I didn’t know if he was coming home.  Nonetheless, I found myself short on sympathetic friends.  The friends I did have weren’t afraid to have me in their homes and were happy to introduce me to their families and friends.

Two such friends were Mary and Jack.  They had recently been through their share of drama – they had left their spouses for each other – so they weren’t nearly as interested in judging me as the high-and-mighty assholes I once called my friends.  They had a holiday party to celebrate their new condo in SoMa, Jack’s birthday, the fact that they had married each other, and Christmas.

I went, alone.  Mary and my mutual friend, CK, said she was going to show up, but as per usual she flaked.  I was more than happy to go to a party where I knew there’d be great food (Jack’s a good cook) and plenty of booze.

Mary and Jack’s party was sparsely attended, most likely because of the scandal over them getting together.  In addition to them having been married to other people when they met, he was her boss, and her then-husband worked at the same firm.  It was a fucking mess.  I completely understood, as I found myself in the midst of a shit-storm much of my own making.

Because they had planned for a much larger party there was plenty of alcohol left over.  Mary and Jack went out of town over Christmas but gave CK the keys to their place.  CK was herself in a bit of a personal pickle – her boyfriend at the time was an abusive drug addict.  Mary and Jack told CK she could stay at their place when they were gone so she could take a break from the abuse.

It was during this time that CK came over to my house to hang out.  I was out of alcohol, and we were about to restock at the corner liquor store, when she suggested we make a quick trip to Mary and Jack’s, where we could pick up whatever alcohol we needed.  Excellent plan.

Once we got to their condo though, we thought it’d be silly to bring the booze back to my place since there was new scenery – the interior of a different loft condo.  We hung out.  We talked.  I gave CK shit for not making it to the holiday party and told her that Mary’s feelings had really been hurt.

We fully indulged in the holiday booze.  We got to the point where CK could most definitely not drive, and to where I didn’t want to walk the fifteen blocks home in the wee hours. We decided to hanker down for the night, but I had to get home to my dogs (Isis and Otter, around which CK was always nervous because she was old and incontinent) as soon as possible in the morning.  (No, I am not proud of my dog parenting at the time.)

Right around bar-closing time my phone rang.  I knew who it was well before I looked at the phone’s display.  It was Whiskey Dick.  He had gotten that nick name very early in our “relationship” when he was too drunk to fuck me properly.

He had since made up for that.  Additionally, he lived literally a block away from me, so he was geographically very desirable.  I told CK who he was – that I had been fucking him for a while, that he was a nice guy, and that it was the usual time for a booty call.

Whiskey Dick and I had gotten into a pattern of sort.  I was extremely anti-social at the time.  He often wanted me to go out with him but I always declined.  So he went out drinking while I stayed in drinking, and then he’d call me at last call to see if I was up for some company.  That night he called and I happened to be at Mary and Jack’s with CK.

I told him that I was spending quality time with my friend and so we couldn’t get together that night.  CK grabbed my phone from me, as she was wont to do.  (She’d “made” this happen.)  She told Whiskey Dick that he should come over.  She also kept repeating that we would not be having a threesome.

She’s the one who brought up the prospect of a threesome.  I certainly hadn’t thought of it.  CK had proven to be pretty uptight when it came to sex.  She thought my casual sex habits were pathological.  I thought her insistence on staying with the asshole, abusive, drug addict boyfriend belied her extreme low self esteem.

We told Whiskey Dick Mary and Jack’s address and waited for him to show up.

I swear.  True story.

[To be continued, of course.]

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