She can’t decide between the two of us because she loves her too much to be with just me and loves me too much to be with just her.  So she’s not going to be with either of us while at the same time being with both of us.  What if Juree says no?  But Erica said she knows how much Juree loves her because of the way she acted when she was there last weekend which was the same as this summer.  I keep thinking that maybe if this weekend hadn’t have happened that she wouldn’t have not been able to choose.  But I know that it would have happened eventually.  It’s better to have it done now so I’m not under any disillusions [sic].  She was going through all this stuff before but either wouldn’t admit it to me or didn’t know yet herself.  I can’t just stop everything with her though because I depend on her for so much.  so I guess I’ll just let it be because that’s all I can do.  And pretty soon I’ll get over it, or just learn to deal with it and relax.  I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future.  I don’t want to graduate and go away and leave her so she can have Juree easier.

1:46 pm

I have three classes with Beth and I get to look at her and her cheekbones.  I feel like just staring at her.  But I’m afraid we’ll make eye contact and she’ll wonder what I’m thinking because I don’t just look at her, I look at her.

3:43 pm

I’m at a drama try-out because the part is a drunken nymphomaniac.

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