Random Rim Jobs

I like the ladies, but I am shy as fuck around them.  They scare me, so I’m not so good at picking them up, taking ‘em back to my place, and fucking them silly like I do men.

But I like boobies, a lot.  And burying my face and fingers in a wet pussy is oh-so-nice.  Licking girl ass is divine ….  I sometimes find myself searching Craig’s List w4w listings.  The w4w Casual Encounters ads are often just ads, like these:

Jul 26 – I love to date younger guys near All Of San Francisco – w4m - (www.SEXNEARYOU.info ) pic

Jul 26 – Looking for a older guy to smash my tight holes – w4m - (www.SEXYLOCALGIRLS.info ) pic

Jul 26 – My man wont bone me!! Would You? – w4m - (www.LONELYWIFELOOKING.com) pic

Jul 26 – Schoolgirl looking for a QUICK Sexual fix before school! – w4m - (www.LONELYWIFELOOKING.com) pic

Jul 26 – Send me NASTY Pics and emails tonight! – w4m - (www.OLDERFORYOUNGER.info) pic

Jul 26 – Hi Girls! – w4w – 26 - (downtown / civic / van ness) pic

Jul 26 – Lonely and looking – w4m - (www.LOCALNSA.info ) pic

Jul 26 – Here is to NSA fun! – w4m - (www.SWINGERSLOOKING.com ) pic

Jul 26 – Im having a hardtime looking for fun guy to play! – w4m - (www.MOMWANNAFUCK.com) pic

Jul 26 – **Looking for a fun playmate** – w4w – 28 - (San Francisco)

Jul 26 – I like it really big! – w4m - (www.OLDERFORYOUNGER.info)

Jul 26 – Gag me – w4m - (www.CHICKSLOOKING.info ) pic

Jul 26 – MY BOYFRIEND LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER BITCH! – w4m - (www.SEXYLOCALGIRLS.info ) pic

Jul 26 – **Wondering how we look on camera! Would you film us? Females only!** – w4w – 29 - (San Francisco)

Some of the above might be “real” but chances are none of them is.  I’ve learned to read Craig’s List ads pretty well and can figure out for the most part which ones are backed by actual humans who want to meet sans compensation.

Other than the “danger” that the w4w listings are advertisements, the other issue is that the ads are often posted by women who are only posting at their boyfriends’ behest and should really be listing in mw4w because they’re looking for threesomes.  I dig threesomes, but I look on the appropriate section of Craig’s List when that is what I’m seeking.  When I look in w4w, I want some one-on-one sex with a woman only.

I responded to an ad that was clearly from an actual woman who wanted actual pussy.  We agreed to meet at the 500 Club on a Sunday afternoon.  As per usual I was running late.  She was there when I arrived.  She was cute–a bit taller than me, thin, with a curly bobbed haircut and cute little boobies, my favorite kind.  We talked over drinks.

She told me she had a boyfriend but that her goal “this time” was to find someone for her.  She told me she and her boyfriend, “Timothy” had had a few threesomes, mostly with women he had met and with whom he had facilitated the encounters.  She said there had been quite a bit of fun, but that she was looking for more than just one night of sex.  She said she wanted ongoing friendships with women with whom she and Timothy had fun.

Of course this was a completely different angle than she had expressed either in her Craig’s List ad or her emails in the exchanges we’d had when setting up the meeting at the bar.  I’m an easy-going gal, so I went along with it.

We had another couple of drinks and then decided to keep in touch.  Soon thereafter we agreed that we would meet again.  This time I went to their neighborhood, which was only fair since she had met me in mine on our initial meeting.  She wanted me to meet Timothy and then for us to figure out how things would go from there.  We had accomplished meeting and drinking without fucking the first time we met, so I definitely believed it was a possibility for our second meeting.

I took the bus out to the Inner Richmond.  Well, rather, I took two buses to the bar where we had agreed to meet.  I met her and Timothy.  Timothy was a bit socially awkward, or at least that’s how it seemed because he didn’t have much to say.  I can fill in the gaps of five different conversations simultaneously with my witty banter/inane chatter so all was well as long as they continued to buy me drinks.

Timothy wore glasses, which was not a big deal in itself, but I could tell he was wearing glasses (as opposed to contacts) because he had a severely wonky eye.  Severely.

I am not an eye person–it’s not unusual for me to know someone’s eye color based only on an educated guess:  brown people have brown eyes, light people have light eyes.  I’ve never been offended when someone I know doesn’t know my eye color; the usual guess is blue.  [My eyes are green, the rarest eye color (at least that's the bullshit I've been espousing for years).]  So for me to notice that Timothy’s eyes were quite fucked up behind his glasses must have meant they were really fucked up behind his glasses.  His right eye appeared to be little more than a watery, red slit with something milky behind it; his left eye was apparently the better of the two because he didn’t run into anything.

So we hung out at the bar and had a few more drinks.  By the time I went to the bathroom I knew their intention was to bring me back to their place, which was right around the corner.  [Their place, incidentally, was on the same block as the party where I had re-met Sheldon.]

We walked to their apartment, where they showed me the very 1970s decor (not of their choosing) and served me more drinks.  Eventually she and I were making out on their couch.  I pointed out between kisses that I had the same shirt I was taking off of her.

Timothy was not in the room and I wanted to make sure that what we were doing, without him there, was acceptable under the “rules” of their relationship.  She assured me that everything was good to go.  We made out.  I licked her pussy and felt her grinding her clit into my mouth.  It had been a while since I’d tasted pussy and I reconfirmed that I fucking love it.

Eventually the three of us went to the bedroom where the highlight (as far as I’m concerned) was me licking Timothy’s ass whilst he was fucking her.  I really don’t like spending the night away from home, and especially when I’ve not made arrangements for Isis, but due to alcohol consumption and vigorous activity I fell asleep.

I woke up to the sound and feel of two people fucking next to me on the bed.  In my sleepiness I think I reached over to “help” in some way.  I fell back asleep.  I woke up with only one other body in the bed.  I figured Timothy had gone to work after the morning fuck and she was sleeping next to me.  I lolled a bit, my brain slowly putting things together.

By the intensity of the light coming into the room I knew it was not all that early and I knew I had to get up and get the fuck out of there to let Isis out.  I was fully nude, which is not my preferred sleeping attire, so I went in search of my clothes.  I noticed the body in the bed next to me was not hers, but Timothy’s, and he had on a sleep mask (which was a blessing–what if that one eye didn’t close all the way?).  I heard the sounds of television coming from the living room so I made my way there.  When I appeared in the entry to the living room she gasped.  I neither knew nor cared if the gasp was positive or negative.

She was sitting on the couch watching tv.  I gathered my clothes and got dressed.  I told her I needed to get home to my dog.  She got a pained look on her face and said something along the lines of having difficulty finding a parking space.  Huh?  I said she could just drop me off.  She explained that on a Saturday she’d have trouble finding a space near her place after she dropped me off, and that it was better to keep the space the car was in at the time.

Oh, no, I wouldn’t want to put you out after I licked your boyfriend’s asshole (which I’m sure, based on his reaction, was not a regular event in their bedroom) after you claimed you were looking for someone just for you.  I had no cash so I had to ask her for some money so I could take the bus.  She didn’t even offer to pay for a cab for me.  Or if she did, she sure as shit didn’t insist because I would have definitely preferred taking a cab to squinting in the bright sun at first one, and then a second bus stop.  I always wear sunglasses and sunscreen when the sun’s up, but had left my house after dark the night before so had on neither.  Thankfully I had my iPod with me so I didn’t have to listen to the stupid conversations that are inevitable on buses.

When I got home I took Isis out right away, though she was not clamoring to go out.  I know she loves me but sometimes she doesn’t seem to notice if I’m even home.

I sent the usual had-a-great-sexy-time email, to which I got no response.  Then, a few weeks later I did something that made my little Inner Richmond girlfriend some money, but I didn’t receive a thank you.  I finally emailed her telling her it was my doing that got her paid and she did thank me, but I’ve not heard from her since.  I have no idea why, and I certainly don’t care, but if she really did want an ongoing friendship with me treating me like shit certainly isn’t the way to my heart.

I swear.  True story.