Sat 18 Jul 2009
An Ass by Any Other Name: An Experiment in Reader Participation
Posted by shazamsf under contest
[21] Comments
Time for another contest, kids. And this coordinates nicely with the Everything Butt Logo Look-Alike Contest on Kink.com.
Just like my last contest, I would like y’all to comment with euphemistic names for naughty bits. This time I want your favorite words/phrases for the ass and asshole and–very important–WHY you like that particular word/phrase. I want to know how your nasty little minds work.
The Random Rim Jobs Ass By Any Other Name contest will be open until Friday, July 31, 2009. Multiple entries are welcome. I will make my final decision by Friday, August 7, 2009. The winner gets the glory of a pretty post with his/her filthy words highlighted, and a dirty picture of me. The winner will be determined solely by me, for reasons I may or may not disclose.
For the Everything Butt contest, go to http://bit.ly/tYKOr to vote for the photograph that most closely resembles the Everything Butt logo. I think mine (No. 6) looks the closest, but I am a tad biased. The rules for voting, etc., are provided there.
I imagine I will submit many entries to this contest, for some reason I like many terms for the lovely ass and asshole.
To start off, one of my favorites for an asshole, rosebud. I like how it has a certain class and beauty to it despite referring to a part of the body that some people consider to be dirty.
I’ve got more, but that’s a good start I think.
Here’s one that refers to the entire butt, cheeks and all.
It’s simple, yet has a fun style to it too. Behind, but here’s the catch, it’s pronounced as two separate words, like be and hind. It works particularly well with the adjective sexy in front of it. As in “Damn girl, you sure do have one sexy be hind!”
Winky (will elaborate why when at a keyboard)
So very happy you’re having this contest. Background: I manage the design team for Kink.com – we recently launched http://everythingbutt.com and as part of that process, we had a copywriting brainstorm to come up with euphemisms for ass.
Some out-of-the-ordinary favorites:
- all you can eat ass buffet
- anal cherry
- rosebud
- pucker
- back door
- tailgate
- back snatch
- butt-muff
- pandora’s OTHER box
I posted a picture of our brainstorm in the Everything Butt forum: http://forum.kink.com/thread/15307
Enjoy!
An Ass by Any Other Name
or
Ode to an Orifice
I don’t have any cute or euphemistic names for a lady’s bottom. I don’t care what *you* want to call it. I just call it “paradise”. A nicely shaped ass stands on it’s own (or sits, as the case may be). It simply is.
OK, I occasionally call it a “bum”. Such a nice round word for something so nice and round.
I’ve always been an ass-man for as long as I can remember… back to my early experiences with porn as a teen. Anal scenes always had special allure. Was it that is was somehow raunchier or dirtier? Or was it a simple appreciation of the perfection of smoothly curved buttocks with that inviting tight puckered orifice tucked between them? Both, I expect.
The ass is so much fun. Lightly running a hand over the swelling curve. Roughly grabbing & slapping. Nuzzling, kissing, and licking. Nibbling, nipping, and biting.
The hot, moist warmth found inside. The orgasmic clenching around a deep delving finger. The spasming under the attentions of probing tongue. And always within tongues reach of a hot, wet pussy. All so wonder and exciting.
Name for Butt Hole;
A HOLE LOTTA OF LOVE
PUSSY’S TIGHT FRIEND
BACK ALLEY
RING-A-ROSY
SPARE PUSSY
BUGNHOLE
Honestly, I just think this one is fun to say, that’s all.
I meant BUNGHOLE
Proofreading is guud
Only got one question. With a beautiful ass like that; how far are you from Manhattan ? -
I’m in San Francisco, so quite a ways.
I love every part of my wife’s body. Her butt as a whole I tend to call “money maker”. Her butt as a hole,is known as the “Garden House”. This term usually refers to a brothel, yet fits since we use ass play to help make her feel like a whore. She likes that.
dumper.
it’s self explanatory, and if you ain’t got a dumper, then you’re ass ain’t worth speaking of.
your*
also, bumper. Cause it’s less ‘crude’ than dumper, but has that same feel. Same rules apply.
Barking Starfish
The Dirty Squirrel
The Fartmacher
The Sub-Station
The Clam’s Stinky Pearl
The Beaver’s Eye
Barking Starfish – anus shaped like a starfish barking = farting
The Dirty Squirrel – Only the filthy of squirrels would bury his nut there
Der Fartmacher – as opposed to Der Freshmacher of Mentos fame
The Sub-Station – a tight place to park your sub/cock
The Clam’s Stinky Pearl – The clam aka ?Vagina’s stinky present
The Beaver’s Eye – Beaver = Vagina and poking a painful eye
Starfish Enterprises…to boldly go where no man (or in some cases, many men) have gone before.
Apple – it’s simple, perfectly formed, good for you, can be bitten or sucked with the mouth, handled with the hands, some are mushy, some are firm, but ultimately rotten to its core, unless fresh, ripe & washed
I hate to repeat my (ahem, prize-winning) answer from last contest, but I’m a man of simple tastes: euphemisms are find and well and good, but simplicity carries the day.
When I’m referring to an ass, I want to call it an ass. A fucking ass, usually, as in “sit that fucking ass right here on my dick,” or “bend over and show me that sexy fucking ass,” or (and I swear this is not pandering to the judges–well, maybe a little) “that’s right, slut. lick my fucking ass oh fuck i’m coming…” – you know. something like that.
unlike pussy or cock, there is a need to specify when i’m referring to ass. even when i’m impaling one around my dick, you’ll never catch me saying “oh god, this fucking…god, it feels so good.” i want to call it by its name. its name is ass.
fart box